


A Wedding to Remember

by Cleggymeiser



Category: Political RPF - US 21st c., Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Love, Marriage, True Love, shitpost
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-26
Updated: 2017-04-26
Packaged: 2018-10-24 09:50:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10739238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cleggymeiser/pseuds/Cleggymeiser
Summary: Donald finally is betrothed to the love of his life, Jar Jar Binks...





	A Wedding to Remember

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Landine](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Landine).



> I don't regret a thing.

The big day had finally arrived. Donald Trump was standing at the alter in front of all his family and friends, ready to be wed to the love of his life.

He met Jar Jar on a golfing holiday back in summer '97.One day he took a particularly bad shot (as is usual) and hit a fellow golfer on the head. This golfer started to literally die on the spot and needed serious medical attention from a certified professional. Good thing there was a doctor there and Jar Jar pushed him to the ground while panicking about the dying guy. Long story short the guy Donald hit died and the doctor was impaled on a golf club as he fell over from Jar Jar's push. Donald and Jar Jar were able to bond over pina coladas while they hid the bodies and the rest is history. No two people were more made for each other, they were so dearly in love that they could barely be separated from each other. Donald, even on his wedding day, was missing Jar Jar because he hadn't have woken up with him.

But relief came, because Donald saw his love suddenly walking down the aisle as the Wedding Theme Tune™ (du du du-duuu du du du-duuuuuu) started to play. Jar Jar had the biggest grin on his face, it's like that time when he got saved by Qui Gon Jin, his first love. Ah yes, because Donald was not his first love, he love Qui Gon before. But the feeling was not mutual and Jar Jar had to deal with the pain of losing the man he loved and never having had told him that. That's all in the past though. Jar Jar is more in love with Donald Trump than he ever has been with anyone in his entire life. It's a pure love, one that binds two souls, one that makes two individuals want to be forever together.

"Dearly beloved," started the Wedding Man™, "we are gathered here today to celebrate the union between Jar Jar Binks and Donald J. Trump. We shall start with the vows that they have written themselves."

"Jar Jar..." said Donald, "You are a great guy. Great guy. I wanna spend my whole life with you. It's gonna be fantastic! The day we met was one of the most beautiful days of my whole life, your beauty and grace blew me away and I just wanted to scream to my lord Harambe 'I LOVE YOU JAR JAR BINKS!!' That'll be all, wasn't that a fantastic vow? Great vows, great."

"Donald..." said Jar Jar with a tear in his eye, "never in my whole life did meesa think someone will make meesa so happy, but here yousa are! Meesa want to announce that meesa 156% in love with yousa and meesa will spend the rest of my life with yousa. Meesa life before yousa was like a plain waffle. It was okay, not bad, but it was a plain waffle. Yousa have added the cream and the chocolate and the maple sirop and a cherry on top, MWAHHH!! Bellissimo! Meesa waffle life is now so tasty with yousa and meesa want to share and make thousands of more waffles with yousa..."

"Donald, do you take Jar Jar to be your lawfully wedded husband?" said Wedding Man™

"Yes, I do."

"Jar Jar, do you take Donald to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"Meesa do!"

"Then you may kiss the groom!"

Then their lips touched in a delicate, soft kiss. The audience cheered and applauded as Donald held Jar Jar in his arms, held him so close. This was to be the beginning of a perfect marriage.


End file.
